I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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