Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
