all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
