I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
