Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Having a random hookup so left but love u
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
