it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize