wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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