"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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