We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Still dying that you shit outside
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
