We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
