Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
