we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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