I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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