yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I am mentally ready for anal.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
