I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
