Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
