If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Damn victory sex feels great
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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