actually, I'm a sock model
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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