i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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