do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
