We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
