i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
