i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
