don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
