I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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