just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
