Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
