This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
