i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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