Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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