How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
