toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize