I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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