People in love make me want to vomit
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
