There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
