You're my little dorito
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
