dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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