Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
