its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
