I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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