oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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