holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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