wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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