Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
