The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
