your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So much Jack, so little girl.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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