At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
