my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
