At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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