She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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