i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
