he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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