"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
