In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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