i was born a porn star she said
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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