Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize