maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
