i don't like sucking hair
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
