with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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