I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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