Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
