he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize