Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
