I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
