i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
