I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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