did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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